"His ibi tum natum Anchises unaque Sibyllam / prosequitur dictis portaque emittit eburna"
In your new bedroom
You will forgive me for what I do
You’ll say it’s cyclical, like:
“[I] break [your] heart, so that [you] can’t break [my] bones”
But on the bygone Autumn nights
back when Alison used to hold me tight…
And when the ending came
I chastised myself to reorient the blame but
Would you believe that I’d never slept with anyone before?
I mean really slept— entwined, embracing
Not passed out on the floor
I didn’t realize that I had done something right
But the New York City car alarms are gonna keep her up all night
It’s a bad habit for a good girl and boy:
Don’t confront the chaos.
Maintain a passive-aggressive relationship with the void
I am borrowing my roommate’s guitar to write this one down tonight
because I broke mine two weeks ago on the Philadelphia ice
A shattered body’s not so bad— I’m gonna get it fixed in time
But I pray my heart, my blackened lungs will still fill up in spite
of what I do to them— I’m shattered again
Pretend like you really mean it
and I’ll try hard to pretend I don’t care
And when the queen is in my bed
I’ll finally be satisfied
She grabs my arm and pulls me close
as we watch Teen Suicide
Now we’re in Cameron’s house in Bloomfield
Reject the matter and keep the form
We are listening to Nothing Was The Same in my college dorm
Her lipstick’s on my neck tonight
and I’ve never felt more alive
But she says she feels nothing that her own touch can’t provide but
Would you believe that I’ve never felt so providential?
Like I’m a car you can climb into— shut your eyes and trust the world
You’ll never realize that I am on fire tonight
and I’m spinning out of control with no witnesses in sight
And it’s a bad omen for a good girl and boy:
Don’t confront the chaos.
Cut your ties and wait to slowly be destroyed.
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